I’d like to think that I’m a good, even an above average person. But I’m not.I think about what I want and what I don’t want. I don’t know the difference between the good, the bad and the ugly. About what I am, what I aspire to be; but obviously the world a big, big place and what I want or want to want is entirely insignificant. So now it all crawls down to this fact of life. Why were we born in the first place? We’re a part of a country, a planet, the milky way to a gigantic something incomprehensible.
So we’re basically nothing.
Tiny fragments of eternity.
But as I pondered on the futility of my existence one night on the phone with Meher at 3 am, I was hit by a flash of lightning. Maybe the big guy up there just said… Lemme just get these whiny little buggers down to my paradise to liven things up a bit, and possibly even give the earth a best before date.
Maybe, we are here to destroy earth.
Pawns to the king up there.
And we’re doing a damn good job.
While I discussed my implausible prospect of college, to my well endowed birds…I figured that half of us are scared to death about the future.
Then I thought you know, if people like Nishkaam don’t get into college who will?
Bani has a clear vision. She’s going to do Bio-technology and make tomato potato (potamo) hybrids.
What would I do? Pollute a little more, take up more air…and probably more space at the rate at which I’m going.
Then again, what would Thomas Edison have done, if there was no darkness.
I still cant get over “Catcher in the Rye”.A book written by a eccentric man in the early fifties. Makes tad more sense more than the “Chicken soup” stuff.
“I’m sort of glad they’ve got the atomic bomb invented. If there’s ever another war, I’m going to sit right the hell on top of it. I’ll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will” . Holden and I have a hell of a lot in common.
Maybe all I want to do is procrastinate and catch people falling off cliffs.
My eco book tells me to ‘assume’ the consumer is rational. There is a clause of non-satiety. Apparently the homo sapein sapein is always wanting more.This greed not only towards the materialistic goodies but for happiness and ultimate bliss. Its funny because when you reach that stage, some stage of almost self actualisation, it seems like there could be something lusher, fresher.
Im not being emo. But there has to be some ultimate high to cure this insatiable hunt. And if it means wearing black, and being ‘trapped in a lonely ungrateful world’ in skinny jeans then im game.
My stomachs making peculiar noises, my heads pulsating beads of sweat. My hair feels greasy, my face flaky…My nose just twitched, my toes just clicked, the “dreary desert sand of dead habit” just hit.
Tags: bani nanda, editorial, emo, goth, nishkaam paul, The shri ram school
